Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I have been so consumed with work lately that i totally abandoned every side-project that was dear to my heart. writing? drawing? painting? taking  photos? cooking? NOTHING. I have done nothing AT ALL.
It seams like all I do is work and crash.
No -no -no , my friends, I am not burning out, not going to quit, shave my head and split to an ashram in Pune India,( or should I....).
I always wanted to be a designer, always wanted a creative job such as the one I miraculously landed, but d the amount of work and stress I am currently under leads me to questions my motivations and my desires... For realz. On the deep.
Add to this the fact that Lee Mc Q hung himself, which really really fucked me up last month.
People will tell you that fashion is an all-bimbo bitch-fest  fighting to get to the top. This is very untrue.
In my experience, people who work in fashion have one main thing in common: they are overworked, and exhausted.
Most of them had dreams of being creative and forward thinking... They end up working their skins off  tediously manufacturing garments.
Fashion school doesn't prepare them for the ultimate disillusion. Some teachers will mention it, but as my friend Audrey ( who is now studying to become a pattern making TEACHER , instead of a tech designer) "MARC JACOBS C'EST TOUT DANS TA TETE" (* Marc Jacobs is in your head).
The death of my fashion idol, as I told you, really triggered some deeply rooted fears and doubts about my profession.
He of unlimited inspiration,He of unequaled talent, He of true vision, He of integrity, He of international acclaim.
I thought all of these (add to that the money, and the clothes!) were enough to make someone truly happy. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
And it got me thinking....

1 comment:

  1. I feel your pain girl! I think that's probably true of creative jobs all together. I'm a web designer, where you also want to do all sorts of creative things, but I'm just at a point of disillusionment at all the constraints and sometimes unreasonable expectations that people in the industry have. You feel your work ends ups being something of a vanilla crap, or largely uncomprehended, not at all what you had envisioned for yourself...and yes the death of Lee was a major blow to the creative industry at large, his work will be sorely missed :(